How Can He Love Me?

How can He (Jesus Christ) love me?  It seems a simple question which holds a simple answer…He died for me.  We as Christians are trained and equipped to tell the world of God’s marvelous love in that He sent His son to die on a cross for us, save us and give us eternal life.  In fact, one of the first verses that we are taught to memorize as children is John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”.  This verse is used to negate any debate or question denying God’s love for us.  It is fired off like rounds of ammo to dispel any doubts that may exist in the minds of the saved or unsaved.  Despite its power and truth, many cannot fathom, much less comprehend this.  To be honest, I still find that I awake to days that I struggle with this same questions; how can a God so magnificent, a Savior so pure and a Holy Spirit so gentle love Beth?

It is this very question and debate in my mind that I awoke to a few days ago and that I have struggled with most of my life.  Do I doubt the existence of the Almighty God?  Absolutely not!  I believe in Him more today than I ever have.  Do I know that He loves me?  Emphatically, I can say yes!  I know without a doubt that He loves me.  Then what is the problem?  The problem is that I cannot comprehend this at times.  It doesn’t mean that I am not saved or that I lack in faith; it simply means that I struggle with fully accepting that God can love me this much.  How can this struggle ensue within the mind of a child of God?  That question is not easily answered. 

The Hurt of Healing

The mere thought of the process of healing being painful is enough to make the strongest individual shudder in fright.  Why?  Simply put, no one likes pain…especially pain in the midst of pain.  Haven’t we been through enough?  Why in the world would someone volunteer on a daily basis to submit to unwanted discomfort?  Because the pain that we endure for the sake of Christ and Him crucified is not for this life only, but for an eternal life to come. 

I can never come close to illustrating this for you as well as Paul does.  Often times through his letters to churches and individuals he mentions the numerous trials and adversity he and his followers have faced.  In 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 NIV he summarizes his afflictions by stating, “we are hard pressed…; perplexed; persecuted; [and] struck down”.  Nevertheless, in the beginning of verse 16 of this chapter he declares that he will not give up.  “Therefore we do not lose heart.”  Why, why, why?  Why would someone endure such affliction?  We now see his absolutely beautiful response to the question of why in verse 17.  “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (emphasis mine).

Who Said Healing is Quick and Easy?

So, if we finally reach the realization that healing is needed and we also come to the understanding that it is God who must perform the work, then why is healing so difficult? Shouldn’t absolute surrender usher into motion the switch to be flipped and thus healing come flooding our bodies, minds, souls and spirits?  Oh, how I dreamed of this, prayed for this and wondered why it never came as I had fathomed.  Had I not handed over the reins of healing to the Great Physician?  Didn’t I pass on the control option and give it to the One that Healeth thee for once in my life?  To both questions I can say emphatically yes and yes!!!

However, encompassing the slightest knowledge of our great God, we should know with absolute assurance that He, in no manner, works according to how we think, feel or believe.  His Word will give us the explanation why He chooses not to perform or work out our healing according to our will and desire.  We have all, at some time or another heard the words “His ways are far above our ways and His thoughts are far above our thoughts”.  This alone should suffice in why He chooses to do what He does in the way of our healing.  However, I came upon another verse that melted me. 

Vital to Understanding and Receiving Healing

Before I move on to discussing why healing isn’t easy and quick, let me insert an extremely vital point to healing that I have come to learn.  What I am about to tell you I have in no way read out of a book and then walked through the healing process.  This knowledge has come only through the path of experience and it did not merely take a single trip on this road for me to figure it out.  Rather, it took many painful journeys and I am still in the process of walking this path and learning this key point. 

This basic, yet so exceedingly significant point is that it is imperative to understand that the choice for healing is ours, yet the work is God's alone.  There is nothing that we can assist with, add to or bring to the table that will, in any way, promote, expedite or secure our healing.  Healing is not based upon, nor will ever come by way of the number of prayers we pray, how many times we fast, how often we attend church, working in an area of ministry, being a member of a church or even according to the passion and fervency in which we carry out any of these acts.   

Who Said I Didn't Need Healing?

Who said I didn’t need healing?  That would be me.  Who said I needed healing? God did, and that should be enough.  Do you still need proof?  Don’t worry, I did too.  Let’s dispel this fallacy together as we look at the Word of God.    

Genesis: 15

After passing through the Red Sea the Israelites began their journey to the promised land, via the desert.  As we know, without water we can survive for only a short while.  Now, lessen that time by the fact that the elements of the desert exponentially increase our thirst.  Here God’s chosen and newly freed people are three days into the passage and are already frantically in search of water.  Their lips are parched.  Tongues are clinging to the roofs of the mouths. There is no ebb and flow of strength; it is only ebbing at this point. 

The Need for Healing Revealed

The further that I am removed from my previous abusive situation, the more that I come to understand the absolute necessity of healing.  As so many often do, I felt that my deliverance from the abusive relationship would be enough.   I figured that I would need a little time to work through some issues, but since I was already a Christian, I concluded that healing was most likely taking place or already done.  Being gone was my freedom and all I needed…so I thought. 

I have been wrong many times in my life, but I don’t think it has ever been to the great degree that I experienced with this crazy assumption!!  I had escaped!!  Should that have not lifted the load of weight upon me?  In some ways I might be able to say yes.  It did lift a load, but not the load.  Wasn’t getting out with my life more than enough?  Again, affirmative only to an extent.  I was alive, but I was not living.  Wasn’t I free from the oppression cast upon me?  Absolutely!  Nevertheless, the bondage that I was still under kept me in walls of captivity of a different sort.   

Catching Up

Wow, I am so shocked that almost two years have passed since I have first and last posted on this blog!  When I started writing I was in the next to last semester of school working on my Bachelor’s of Business Administration degree.  As you would imagine the load got to be too much to bear and I didn’t have time.  Beyond that, each time I would attempt to write another post I simply could not complete a single topic or thought.  It just seemed too painful to continue and often I contemplated deleting it altogether.  However, I knew beyond any doubt that God placed this blog upon my heart and I just could not bring myself to doing away with it. 

Now, I am at a place in my life that I am ready to begin writing again and I couldn’t be more excited.  It has been an event-filled two years.  I have since completed school, among a myriad of other awesome, as well as painful, things.  Yet, the greatest event that has taken place has been that God sent the most amazing man into my life and we were married in October 2012.  In this relationship God has afforded me an opportunity that I never even fathomed or dreamed of in the past.  My husband, Alan, is a pastor and I have the awesome privilege of being a pastor’s wife.  I am ready to open myself up to God’s direction and picking back up writing is one area that He is leading, and I want to be obedient.